Showing posts with label SEVERED LIMBS. Show all posts
Showing posts with label SEVERED LIMBS. Show all posts

Friday, December 11, 2015

Asylum (1972)


Asylum (1972)
Dir. Roy Ward Baker
Written by Robert Bloch
Starring Peter Cushing, Britt Ekland, Robert Powell, Herbert Lom, Barry Morse, Patrick Magee



The years between the 1971 release of THE HOUSE THAT DRIPPED BLOOD and the 1974 release of FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE were something of a golden age for horror anthologies, especially those released by the longtime also-ran English horror factory Amicus productions. While rival Hammer Studios was suffering a painful artistic and popular decline with their characteristic brand of gothic bloodletting, Amicus was managing to stay relevant by cranking out contemporary-set anthologies corralling the still-popular British horror stars of the time into a few days’ work on different segments. It was cheap and hit-or-miss, but overall boasts a surprisingly high success rate, as we saw with the excellent VAULT OF HORROR and TALES FROM THE CRYPT.


Both of those films were based on the EC horror comics of the same name, but ASYLUM (premiering in 1972, the same year as TALES) took a different approach: four different adaptations of Robert Bloch short stories, adapted by the author. Bloch was already the subject of some renown for having written the novel upon which Hitchcock and screenwriter Joseph Stefano based PSYCHO (apparently quite faithfully), but his writing was quite a bit more versatile than that much-copied story would indicate. Actually, Bloch was a writer somewhat more in the Lovecraft vein than the fairly grounded world of Psycho would suggest; in fact, he corresponded with Lovecraft himself and his circle of writers quite a bit as a youth. Lovecraft even includes a very thinly-disguised Bloch (“Robert Blake”) in his final fictional work, The Haunter of the Dark, itself a sequel to an earlier Bloch story in which a thinly-disguised version of Lovecraft gets killed. And then Bloch wrote a sequel to Lovecraft’s story to bring himself back from the dead! That immediately suggests something about Bloch which was never evident in Lovecraft: a sly sense of humor, and a sure hand at a cheeky twist.


These traits would serve him well in the medium of short fiction, but would transfer successfully to the silver screen only sporadically. By 1972, he’d written a total of nine screenplays --five of those for Amicus-- and had a fairly spotty track record from what I’ve seen. I hear TORTURE GARDEN is pretty good, and I liked THE SKULL (though more for its stylish direction than its somewhat languid screenplay), but on the other hand THE HOUSE THAT DRIPPED BLOOD is the very definition of tepid mediocrity, and THE DEADLY BEES (apparently significantly re-written without his consent, but still…) is a solid candidate for actual factual most direly worthless artistic endeavor ever mounted by humans. That’s not hyperbole, that’s just stating a simple scientific fact. Give me a pen and paper and I can prove it to you mathematically.



Turns out ASYLUM is one of the good ones, though. Directed by Roy Ward Baker (the earlier Amicus anthology VAULT OF HORROR, the English parts of the Hammer/Shaw Bros oddity LEGEND OF THE 7 GOLDEN VAMPIRES), this turns out to be one of the sleeker and more enjoyable horror anthologies from this period, even if it somewhat lacks a truly classic sequence. Eschewing both the pulpy meta comedy of HOUSE THAT DRIPPED BLOOD and the more visceral sadism of TALES FROM THE CRYPT, ASYLUM, true to its name, defines itself with some of the strangest and most esoteric stories ever to grace an anthology. Somewhat different in tone from the twist-heavy EC comics that supplied the giddy essence of VAULT OF HORROR and TALES FROM THE CRYPT, these tales wind their way into stranger and often nearly surreal corners of horror.  


It starts with a real solid wraparound story -- not always a strong suit of these movies, so it’s worth noting. It’s not as eloquently dreamlike as VAULT OF HORRORS’ 5-people-in-a-locked room premise, but certainly more cinematic. It involves a young doctor (Robert Powell, the title role in JESUS OF NAZARETH) arriving at an asylum seeking a job. The asylum administrator (Patrick Magee, CLOCKWORK ORANGE, BARRY LYNDON, as well as THE SKULL and TALES FROM THE CRYPT) gives him a test to prove his merit: it seems that the previous head psychiatrist has recently gone mad, and has been committed to his own institution along with the other nutjobs. If the neophyte psychiatrist can identify which of the deluded inmates is the doctor, the job is his. The stage is set, then, for four interviews with different inmates, each with a strange tale to tell. This nifty setup invites the viewer to play a little game with how much they want to believe of the twisted stories, all told by madmen, at least one of whom is so deluded we know it would take special talent to even establish his true identity. It provides an air of slippery ambiguity to the whole proceedings, nicely heightening the special strangeness to be found here.


The first story is a pretty perfect encapsulation of the general weird vibe here, though it’s the most literal, and the most traditionally horror-driven. It’s a simple setup, almost to a fault: A cheating husband kills his voodoo-aficionado wife, chops up her body, and neatly wraps the pieces up in a freezer for later disposal. But, wouldn’t you know it, wifey took the precaution of pre-voodooing herself, presumably with the expectation of exactly this scenario, because the severed body parts have no intention of letting their death and dismemberment keep them from some well-deserved revenge. That’s it, there’s nothing else to the story itself, but the design of the vengeful body parts is top-notch -- having them wrapped in butcher paper (aside from making them more feasible as props) somehow makes the whole thing way more morbid than it would be if they were simply exposed. And besides, take a look at this:




I mean, who could ask for anything more?


The next segment is a strange one, possibly more of a fantasy-drama than out-and-out horror; it has a gothic whimsy that recalls some of the gentler Twilight Zone episodes (at least one of which is almost certainly an inspiration). Not necessarily what you’d expect from the writer of Psycho, but there you go. A put-upon tailor facing financial ruin (Barry Morse, THE CHANGELING [the 1982 one with George C. Scott, which I consider to be something of an unacknowledged horror masterpiece]) accepts a job from the mysterious Mr. Smith (Peter Cushing) to make a suit out of a glowing, inexplicable fabric. You at first assume he’s planning on mounting a production of Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat, but alas, the story takes an arguably more tragic turn. I’ll say no more, except that Cushing’s part is extremely small but he’s absolutely terrific here, even by his usual high standards. Like his role in TALES FROM THE CRYPT, this casts him in a somewhat atypically sympathetic role for such an iconic horror actor, and one can’t help but remember that the actor was still dealing with his crippling grief over the death of his beloved wife Helen in 1971. With only a handful of scenes, he gives a performance of painfully raw emotion so potent that it actually kind of derails the segment; nothing else it can offer is going to be as affecting, and it kind of peters out with its somewhat rote and egregiously telegraphed twist. Ever seen an actor ruin a movie by giving too good a performance? Enjoy.



Anyway, the next segment is a serviceable but somewhat disposable psychological thriller revolving the mentally unstable Baraba (Charlotte Rampling, ZARDOZ, BABYLON A.D., TIS PITY SHE’S A WHORE, ORCA, and probably some classy shit as well, but what would I know about that?) returning home after a stay in the nuthouse. She’s closely monitored at home, and her frustration is given worrisome focus by the arrival of her troublesome friend Lucy (Britt Ekland, GET CARTER, THE MAN WITH THE GOLDEN GUN, THE WICKER MAN) who seems to have had something to do with her previous unwilling incarceration. Well, if you’ve seen a movie before, you can probably guess what’s going on here. But no matter, Rampling and Ekland are both compulsively watchable, and share an easy, electric chemistry which makes the inevitable escalations feel more energetic and arresting than the languid pace warrants.


The final tale is the shortest and by far the strangest, almost transcending the horror genre into pure art movie in its unprecipitated weirdness. It’s the only story which doesn’t involve a flashback of any kind  --or a story at all, per se. The final interviewee is Herbert Lom (The PINK PANTHER series, Jess Franco’s DRACULA), an obsessive doctor who, while incarcerated, has a hobby of building miniature robotic automatons visaged with his own scowling countenance. Inside these boxy metal contraptions, he’s meticulously reproduced the entire organ system of a human in miniature (it’s not clear with what). He’s done all this, he explains, because he hopes to transfer his consciousness into one of them. Initially it’s hard to see what he hopes to gain from this plan, but quickly it becomes clear -- after our young protagonist leaves him and returns to the interviewer, we see that Lom has, in fact, created a tiny assassin with the intent of murdering the man keeping him locked up! But then it stops making sense again, because making a tiny, clumsy mind-controlled robot seems like the least efficient possible way to go about this task. I guess he was crazy after all.



Both Cushing and Lom have tiny roles,* and there's something of a lack of showy setpieces (aside from the first segment) so it’s good that the general weirdness of the thing is strong enough to carry it. And it's certainly not guilty of overstaying its welcome; at a slim 88 minutes, it feels like it’s over a little fast, actually (especially since Lom’s tale is very short, almost a vignette). But Bloch’s inimitable weirdness pervades everything; there’s simply a dreamy, murky creepiness which grows stronger the longer you stay in this world of mentally unstable rambling. Roy Ward Baker is not a director I would list among the greats, but he sure gets a lot more out of Bloch’s creepy ideas than Peter Duffel did in THE HOUSE THAT DRIPPED BLOOD. And more than that, he seems better suited to craft the right vibe for the endeavor, which is crucial, because more than anything this is a vibe movie. It doesn’t traffic in big shocks or gruesome violence, it just wants to drag you into its macabre world and let you kick around for awhile -- and at that, it succeeds admirably. While it may not be quite a pinnacle of the form in the way TALES FROM THE CRYPT is, it’s a perfect little slice of moderately surreal 70’s psycho-horror and an excellent example of why these portmanteau films are so enduringly popular.


*IMDB claims they spent two days and half a day on set, respectively.


CHAINSAWNUKAH 2015 CHECKLIST!

Play it Again, Samhain

  • TAGLINE: Some posters read You Have Nothing To Lose But Your Mind, which is a pretty good tagline. The others feature the blunter alternate tagline, Come To The Asylum… to GET KILLED!
  • LITERARY ADAPTATION: Yes, Bloch adapts his own stories.
  • SEQUEL: No, but part of Amicus’ loose series of anthology horror films
  • REMAKE: I wouldn’t swear that none of these Bloch stories have been adapted for other mediums, but I can find no direct evidence that they have.
  • DEADLY IMPORT FROM: England
  • FOUND-FOOTAGE CLUSTERFUCK: No
  • SLUMMING A-LISTER: Today, I’d have to say award-winning actress Charlotte Rampling, though at the time she was nearer the start of her career.
  • BELOVED HORROR ICON: Cushing, Herbert Lom
  • BOOBIES: None
  • MULLETS: None
  • SEXUAL ASSAULT: No
  • DISMEMBERMENT PLAN: Total dismemberment in the first segment.
  • HAUNTED HOUSE: No
  • MONSTER: No
  • THE UNDEAD: Killer limbs!
  • POSSESSION: Does possession of tiny evil robot dolls count?
  • SLASHER/GIALLO: No.
  • PSYCHO KILLERS (Non-slasher variety): Yes
  • EVIL CULT: While the first segment centers on Voodoo, that’s really more of an “emerging religion,” though in this case it was definitely practiced for evil purposes, or at least morally ambiguous post-death revenge.  
  • (UNCANNY) VALLEY OF THE DOLLS: Finally! Creepy Herbert Lom dolls! Plus a creepy mannequin! I was beginning to think the dolls had totally failed us this year, but then along comes a two'fur.
  • EGYPTO-CRYPTO: No
  • TRANSMOGRIFICATION: No
  • VOYEURISM: Nah
  • OBSCURITY LEVEL: Mid, a successful Amicus release in 1972.
  • MORAL OF THE STORY: If the first task your new employer gives you is to locate the guy who went insane doing your job before you… perhaps seek employment elsewhere.
  • TITLE ACCURACY: There is definitely an Asylum, 100%.
  • ALEX MADE IT THROUGH AWAKE: N/A.
Thanks to the Rampling/Ekland teamup.

Thursday, December 4, 2014

Netherworld

Netherworld (1992)
Dir. David Schmoeller
Written by “Billy Chicago” (David Schmoeller) and Charles Band
Starring Michael Bendetti, Denise Gentile, Holly Floria, Alex Datcher





Well, when you see that Full Moon Video logo on something, it might as well be a warning label, we all know that. But I dunno, sometimes you just need a wild hope. Full Moon founder Charles Band did produce a few decent movies while he was still with Empire International Pictures, including director David Scmoeller’s mild but ingratiating PUPPET MASTER. And he produced RE-ANIMATOR. OK, he also produced about a million other horror movies which are so dull and low-rent that they’re unwatchable even by my standards. Me, the guy who watched THE BLOOD BEAST TERROR. The guy who made it all the way through SHAKMA. The guy who routinely defends the STAR WARS prequels. I mean, if you can’t even get me to stick around for 80 minutes (including credits) of EVIL BONG, you may have officially reached rock bottom. What market could there possibly be that will go where even I destain to tread?


1992, though, was on the cusp, I thought. I mean, he was still producing terrible sub-moronic no-budget z-grade monster flicks, but at least they seemed like real movies as recently as the late 80’s. He did CASTLE FREAK with Stuart Gordon as late as 1995. And of course, David Schmoeller was fresh off PUPPET MASTER and CRAWLSPACE, and only a little over a decade away from his indisputably classic debut in TOURIST TRAP. Plus, this one has Alex Datcher, who I liked so much in JOHN CARPENTER’S BODY BAGS and was itching to see in something else. I thought there was a chance. When you’re a horror fan, you gotta be an optimist about these things. Somewhere out there in video movie land, there is true forgotten treasure, and you’ll never find it unless you sift through some questionable rubble. Maybe, just maybe this was some kind of overlooked masterpiece that got lost in the shuffle of GHOULIES sequels and never got its due.

I'll have what she's having.
Alas, in this case the blatant warning signs did not steer me wrong. This is not the lost classic I was hoping for, in fact it’s inarguably just as crappy, incompetent and listless as you probably feared it was. But it’s not entirely without redeeding qualities. As cheap as it is, it’s full of effort and interesting details. Creepy symbolism and unexplained, dreamlike shit abounds: there’s a mysterious flying hand that zips around an underground labyrinth and murders people like the silver balls from PHANTASM. There’s some sort of hellish bordello, where you can hook up with the likes of Mary Magdalene or Marilyn Monroe. There’s a generous serving of bird imagery (like, in every single scene), these weird green drinks they call Taffia, two sets of witches both with ambiguous motives, hookers with strange masks (one from TOURIST TRAP, I think?) a weird ultra-creepy hooker with a spinning-head mask. Despite the 90’s milieu and what must have been a punishingly low budget, Schmoeller was definitely putting in some effort, legitimately trying to make something unique and good.


The plot, such as it is, involves a wealthy young man (blandly handsome Michael Bendetti, absolutely nothing of relevance) inheriting his estranged father’s estate. Dear departed daddy has left him instructions on how to use black magic to revive the late patriarch, which doesn’t seem to surprise him or even motivate him as much as you might think it would, but I guess I should mention that this is all set in Louisiana, so maybe that’s just par for the course down there. Ugh, what a hassle, now I have to live in my estranged Dad’s opulent plantation mansion with his sexy mother/daughter tag-team caretakers and use black magic to bring him back. Who has the time these days? There’s some nonsense about an evil bar which may be a portal to hell or whatever, who knows, it’s kinda hard to explain and the plot seems to give up trying after a while.

Believe it or not, this is a big part of the film's climax.

A good bit is pretty dull and water-treading, a bunch of hazy exposition that’s way too impenetrable to add up to anything. Schmoeller’s efforts are occasionally rewarded by some cool images, but they look painfully chintzy in that ubiquitous crappy 90’s lighting that made everything look like a sitcom filmed in a Wal-Mart. The music is straight up terrible and despite a few sets and effects which convey a mild feeling of effort, on the whole the production is dispiritingly amateurish on almost every level. I’m definitely the kind of guy who would be into the languid, dreamlike New Orleans vibe it’s trying for, but alas there’s just not the kind of production talent here to pull it off. Oddly, the movie’s secret strength is the very light strand of offbeat humor running through it. I couldn’t decide at first if it was honestly meant to be funny or if it was just humorously incompetent, but then there’s this scene where our hero is being threatened in a bar. A cool, macho-looking guy gets a flourish for an introduction, walks up to his aggressor and confidently challenges, “ if you want someone to pick on, pick on me.” And then he just gets absolutely decked, falls to the floor, and is never mentioned again. That’s gotta be intentional, right? And there’s another bit where he’s experimenting in black magic and kind of drifts off to sleep and goes into your ubiquitous out-of-body-vision. He floats dreamily through the house and into the bathroom, where the camera pervs out on the showering housekeeper/love interest. But then she suddenly screams -- she sees him! This isn’t some sort of out-of-body dream, he just walked in there! And he seems as surprised as anyone else! And this has to be one of the few horror movies I am personally aware of where the male lead has a trying-on-different-outfits montage. (by the way, this is what he settles on:)




A few more funny bits like those might have gone a long way to making this one more appealing; in fact, you can almost see it working as a kind of laid-back mix of dreamy horror and oddball comedy. The proportions aren’t quite right for it here, though; too much slack, too little whammy in terms of either horror or comedy. But there’s some bits to like here. I liked them. I sure do wish the dreamy horror was executed well enough to work better, because there are real good ideas here. I really wanted to like it more than I was able to, but it’s at least intermittently interesting. The cast is pretty iffy with the majors mostly played by bland disposable white people, but the supporting cast isn’t as bad as you’d think. Its nice to see Alex Datcher in here (she plays “Mary Magdalene, which has gotta look funny on her filmography) and she’s far and away the best actor in the film, though she doesn’t really have a ton to do. And if that’s not enough to sell you, you can look forward to an extended white-blues rock sequence which features a band that looks and sounds a lot like a crappy Edgar Winters band, and then also turns out to be actually them. That’s weird, right? Why Edgar Winters has a musical cameo in 1992’s NETHERWORLD is a question for future generations to ponder, but you gotta admit, not too many horror movies can claim that honor.



Big smile!


I honestly could not really tell you what the deal with the end is. There’s definitely something that happens, but what precisely it is or why I could not say. However, it’s worth persevering for, because if you can make it to the end of the film you’ll be rewarded with one of the weirdest, funniest final shots ever to grace the silver screen. I can’t spoil it for you but the thing it most evoked for me was this Weezer/gopher hybrid from the Pork and Beans video:



Schmoeller himself is in there as the bartender who does a cool bottle-spinning trick, so he must have believed in this film at least a little. That’s nice to see, but it’s also not a huge surprise that this was more or less his last full-length film until 2012. He’s quoted on his IMDB page saying, “The reason I like horror films is that they're very cinematic, and I like to think of myself as a cinematic director. Other genres are not necessarily as cinematic; you can do so much with horror.” Makes sense, actually, especially since it also says he studied theater in Mexico with Alejandro Jodorowsky and was mentored by Luis Bruñuel. Unfortunately here he was only able to do so much with his love of the cinematic, and it can’t quite get him where he wants to go. The Full Moon production definitely hurts, and of course let’s not forget that he had recently worked with Klaus Kinski* and may have still been working through the resulting psychological trauma. But NETHERWORLD isn’t a complete disaster. At times it sort of resembles a real movie, and even fitfully evokes genuine interest, which by Full Moon standards makes it basically a masterpiece. You kinda hate to damn a talented, ambitious guy like Schmoeller with such faint praise, but hey, at least it’s better than DEMONICUS or DOLLMAN VS DEMONIC TOYS. You could do worse.

*A harrowing experience he describes in his appropriately named 1999 short film PLEASE KILL MR. KINSKI.



CHAINSAWNUKAH 2014 CHECKLIST!

The Hunt For Dread October
  • LITERARY ADAPTATION: No
  • SEQUEL: None, weird considering how notorious Full Moon is for doing like 90 sequels to anything even remotely franchise-able
  • REMAKE: No, I could see that working, though
  • FOREIGNER: Nope
  • FOUND-FOOTAGE CLUSTERFUCK: No
  • SLUMMING A-LISTER: Edgar Winter?
  • BELOVED HORROR ICON: David Schmoeller
  • BOOBIES: Yes, a few
  • SEXUAL ASSAULT: Yeah, there's a rape scene at the start, but at least the guy gets what's coming to him (which it turns out is a murderous flying hand)
  • DISMEMBERMENT PLAN: Severed hand, eyes ripped out.
  • HAUNTED HOUSE: No
  • MONSTER: Some weird stuff here, nothing explicitly monstrous though
  • THE UNDEAD: Zombie shows up at the end
  • POSSESSION: There's definitely some possession-y stuff happening
  • SLASHER/GIALLO: No
  • PSYCHO KILLERS (Non-slasher variety): Nah
  • EVIL CULT: ....kinda hard to say. No robes, though.
  • (UNCANNY) VALLEY OF THE DOLLS: Not a one. Not even a voodoo doll.
  • TRANSMOGRIFICATION: Yes, apparently these witches can turn you into a bird (?)
  • OBSCURITY LEVEL: High
  • MORAL OF THE STORY: Friends don't let friends work with Charles Band.
  • TITLE ACCURACY: Uh... there's some implication that there may be a portal to hell or something, I dunno, it's not really clear enough what's going on here to know if the title is accurate or not. Say 50%.
  • ALEX MADE IT THROUGH AWAKE: N/A
2's the best I can do, but it's on the verge of 3. Call it C-