Showing posts with label B&W HORROR. Show all posts
Showing posts with label B&W HORROR. Show all posts

Friday, April 26, 2019

Screamplay



Screamplay (1985)
Dir. Rufus Butler Seder
Written by Rufus Butler Seder and Ed Greenberg
Starring Rufus Butler Seder, Eugene Seder, George Kuchar, Katy Bolger, George Cordeiro

SCREAMPLAY has two blatant red flags within its first 30 seconds: a Troma logo at the outset, and then --even more worrisome-- an actual executive producer credit for Lloyd Kaufman in the opening credits. So you can't even console yourself that Troma just distributed it; this is a certified, Lloyd-Kaufman approved Troma production, of which there are, what, maybe four decent ones? Out of thousands? Those are very long odds indeed.

But somehow SCREAMPLAY manages to beat the odds, and not just end up watchable (which was certainly the very most optimistic thing I could imagine for it) but actively good. I want you to pause for a moment, and consider just how fucking unlikely that was. I cold-watch upwards of 50 or 60 horror movies a year, and often go for YEARS without finding one which could actively be called good. Entertaining? Sure. Amusingly incompetent? Often. Crappy but eccentric enough to be interesting? Occasionally. But genuinely good? And with a Troma logo upfront? Absolutely unheard of. It's so unlikely that I spent nearly the first hour of the movie thinking there must be something wrong with me, because there was no possible way this was as good as it seemed. But here I am, more or less sober, with several days to think it over. And I can tell you with confidence: Yeah, I think SCREAMPLAY is the real deal.



If I have not taken leave of my senses and it really is fucking rad as hell, it is entirely due to one man: Director / co-screenwriter / star actor / editor / visual effects / matte painter / sound editor Rufus Butler Seder, a mysterious one-and-done first-and-only-timer in every single one of those roles.* If the movie is at all autobiographical, it’s certainly possible that such a laborious one-man production may have broken him down and made the prospect of a follow-up seem pretty powerfully unappealing. But I’m more inclined to believe his retirement from cinema was more in kind with that of the great Russian director Elem Klimov, who made the masterpiece COME AND SEE and then simply declared he was done with the medium: "I've lost interest in making films. Everything that was possible I felt I had already done," he said in 2000. OK, OK, SCREAMPLAY is probably not as a good a film as COME AND SEE. But what it has in common with Klimov is a distinct vision. They may be operating on different artistic levels and to different ends, but both movies have a very specific, unique tableau they wish to conjure. There’s nothing loose or haphazard about SCREAMPLAY; every element has been carefully curated to a specific end.

That end is something genuinely unlike anything I’ve ever seen before: A black comedy about the creative process, set in some kind of vague 1950s Hollywood, as filtered through German Expressionism. I’ve read enough reviews offering unwieldy lists of ingredients in an effort to describe it (“BARTON FINK meets SUNSET BOULEVARD in an ERASERHEAD world!”) to know better than to try that route myself; suffice to say, it involves screenwriter Edgar Allan (Seder himself, sporting a character name which just serves to further complicate the film’s taxonomy) arriving fresh in Hollywood with the intent of writing the great American screenplay (screamplay?). Recruited fresh off the bus by a down-on-his-luck agent (Eugene Seder, presumably a relative), he quickly finds himself stuck in a run-down apartment complex managed by the brutish Martin (underground film director and video artist George Kuchar!) and peopled by a menagerie of desperate Hollywood stock types, from the naive aspiring actress (Katy Bolger, only one other credit**) to the faded Hollywood diva (M. Lynda Robinson, “Newspaper Purchaser #1” in WITH HONORS) to the burned out ex-rocker (Bob White, SCREAMPLAY). As they each in turn visit their particular brand of toxic dysfunction on him, he pours his fury into murderous revenge fantasies in his screenplay, explaining that to make great art, he has to confront the darkness within himself. But this confrontation gets a little darker than he bargained for when the tenants start dying in exactly the way his screenplay describes.



That scenario makes for a perfectly adequate mystery-thriller setup, with just a touch of introspection about the dark side of making art (there are some notable similarities with Stephen King’s THE DARK HALF, published a few years later). In its basic form, it’s boilerplate enough to barely register, much less justify the kind of praise I’m about to throw at it. But like most great genre art, the premise is just a skeleton upon which to hang an aesthetic, which is the movie’s real interest. And what an aesthetic we have here! For reasons known only to its creator, SCREAMPLAY’s simple, Agatha Christie slasher plot has been meticulously visualized as a lost German Expressionist film from the 1920s. This is hardly the first horror film to draw on Expressionism as an aesthetic, but it’s not merely “influenced” or “informed” by the style of this era. It’s painstakingly recreated in every detail, from the broad, theatrical performances (Seder himself sets the tone perfectly, with his intense oscillation from cheerful earnestness to wild fury), to the wavering lighting, to the chaotically stylized sets, to the surreal, hallucinogenic compositing, to the fractured, freudian psychology. Isolate basically any frame and you could convince me I was actually looking at a lost film from the 20s.

...Except also, not quite. Because while the film is absolutely fastidious about recreating the look and feel of that era, it’s by no means some kind of wholesale pastiche. It’s also casually anachronistic in a million little ways, not the least of which being that it’s not a silent film. Characters speak aloud, and there’s sound effects and music and everything, no intertitles whatsoever. That alone should be enough to completely shatter the illusion, and yet somehow it doesn’t at all. The movie is so powerfully evocative of its chosen milieu that despite the spoken dialogue, mild explicit violence and sex (it is a Lloyd Kaufman production, after all!), and visual signifiers placing it somewhere in the vague 50’s or 60’s (James Dean-esque biker hunks, burned-out rockers, killer transvestites on roller skates [it is a Lloyd Kaufman production, after all!]) never for one moment does it seem phony or distracting. It doesn’t feel like an impossible mish-mash of incompatible culture detritus, however much it seems like it should; it just feels like a movie made in some bizarre alternate reality where cinematic style never evolved beyond the mid-20s. Sure, you couldn’t hear the voices in those old movies, but you get the feeling that this is what they would have sounded like. And sure, they didn't have scores, but the jazzy, off-kilter music of George Cordeiro and Basil J. Bova (both also actors in the movie) is an exactly perfect fit for the demented tone. It feels right. And I mean exactly right. Unlike the rash of 80’s pastiches which have recently proliferated, this doesn’t feel in the least bit nostalgic or satirical; it simply feels like the only correct way to tell this particular story. It’s doesn’t parrot an archaic aesthetic, it simply embodies it.***



The story itself is far less groundbreaking than the spectacular look of the film, but it’s sturdily constructed and finely-tuned enough to leave an impression, nonetheless. Like the curious George Romero trilogy of DARK HALF, MONKEY SHINES and BRUISER, it places the creator of dark, antisocial art under the spotlight and forces him to ponder why he's drawn to such art, and what it's for. And it is, I think, a little more honest and nuanced than many of its peers which address the same basic moral conundrum. Cheerful, optimistic Edgar arrives in LA with a childlike excitement about the great art he’s going to create.**** But as he gets shit on and abused more and more, he pours his incipient bitterness into the script, claiming he’s doing it to get audiences to “face a part of yourself that you’re unwilling to acknowledge.” Far from being disturbed by this, though, he sees it as a vital part of the creative process, arguing that channeling base instincts  --where human passion runs deepest and most fiercely-- is intrinsic to all great art. Experiencing monstrous feelings does not make us monsters; in fact, it makes us human. When his stoned neighbor claims he has the “hands of a killer,” he laughs “yes, to a degree they are!” (he is, after all, killing the characters in his script with his hands -- by typing them out of existence) but he goes on to declare, “but I’m not actually capable of killing anyone!”

That, of course, is open for debate, because as he begins to murderously fantasize about killing his neighbors, we’re mighty suspicious that he might actually be doing exactly what he’s supposedly writing about. But no, his “victims” are still alive and well when we check back on them immediately after he writes their death scenes. His “murders” really are just a means for him to channel his rage into his art… right? But “sins of the mind and sins of the body are as one!” someone tells him. And for a horror movie, SCREAMPLAY actually treats this idea pretty seriously, ending with an elegant but rather ingenious solution to the mystery that plays off its musings in a thoughtful, darkly funny way (right down to the elegantly perfect final line, with its sublime double meaning).



It’s not a perfect movie, of course; even at a perfectly reasonable 92 minutes, it might dawdle a little more than it needs to at the onset. And while the cast of mostly unknowns is astonishingly consistent and on-board with exactly the kind of intentionally stilted acting the movie obviously requires, there is a sleazy publicist character (Ed Callahan, only one other acting role, but 113 credits in the sound department, including on this film and a sampling of impressively high-profile Hollywood productions) who seems a little too contemporary and restrained to fit in with the broad, stylized and orphaned-from-time performances of the rest of the cast. But those are relatively minor concerns, mere momentary distractions from what is otherwise a stupendously assured and effective film, all the more impressive considering its unique vision was the product of a first-time director (and actor! And screenwriter! And editor! And matte painter! and…) on what was surely a budget that would barely cover the hairdressers on an AVENGERS movie. And I know I’m not the only one who thinks so: Lloyd Kaufman picked the film as one of five “Troma Unsung Classics” in his memoir, All I Need to Know About Filmmaking I Learned from the Toxic Avenger. It probably deserves better company than that, but maybe like its protagonist, it drew some sense of purpose from its disreputable compatriots. Troma might not be any better at cultivating great art than Hollywood is, but at least real recognize real. Credit where it's due: Kaufman saw something special here, and for once in my life I can't argue with him. As a lover of cinema, I can't help but find it a great tragedy that Rufus Butler Seder never made another movie, but then again, this is a hell of a high point to retire on.




PS: Also, I didn’t know where else to put this in the review, but there’s a stuntman in here whose name is “Flip Johnson,” and I’m not making that up. I just thought you should know.

* Who later in life achieved some level of fame as the creator of a process called “scanimation,” a type of “barrier grid animation and stereography” which allows still images to appear to move, and he has successfully parlayed into a career as a best-selling book author/illustrator and mural creator. 

** A video short directed by her SCREAMPLAY co-star George Kuchar two years later!

            *** A good comparison point might be Ti West’s masterful HOUSE OF THE DEVIL, which also adopts a heavily stylized, somewhat outdated aesthetic because it is intrinsically the most effective milieu in which to situate the particular story being told. Though pastiche movies have become commonplace since then, most seem to be more interested in evoking nostalgia than telling a story which cries out for the period trappings.

            **** In fact, Edgar’s relentlessly cheerful demeanor in the face of the many indignities he endures reminds me quite specifically of Johnny Depp’s immortal ED WOOD (which came out almost a decade later). This in turn causes me to note a surprising amount of other similarities: they’re both 1) Hollywood satires about a enthusiastic amateur trying to break into the biz, 2) shot in black and white, 3) set in the 1950s, 4) feature strong elements of German Expressionism (though ED WOOD’s are admittedly more inspired by the Universal Horror films) 5) share a specific love of the Universal Horror cycle of the 1930s (the first thing Edgar Allan does in Hollywood is visit the walk-of-fame stars of Boris Karloff, Peter Lorre, and, yes, Bela Lugosi! But he also treats himself to a triple-showing of NOSFERATU, THE GOLEM, and CABINET OF DR. CALIGARI) and 6) concern their protagonist struggling with hidden urges which they perceive to be harmless but are a source of suspicion for those around them. Can I prove that Tim Burton watched SCREAMPLAY and then ripped it off and made his best movie? No, I can’t prove that. But remember that time he stole Kevin Smith’s idea for the dumbest possible ending to PLANET OF THE APES? I’m just sayin’ there’s precedent, here.



Tuesday, January 2, 2018

The Black Scorpion


The Black Scorpion (1957)
Dir. Edward Ludwig
Written by Robert “Not the Blees, NOT THE BLEES!!!” Blees, David Duncan
Starring Richard Denning, Mara Corday, Carlos Rivas, Mario Navarro



THE BLACK SCORPION offers two things, and only two things. One is those is endless scenes of generically handsome square scientists (Richard Denning, THE CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON, and Carlos Rivas, THE KING AND I, TRUE GRIT) having meaningless longwinded exposition dialogue or aggressively putting the moves on an irrelevant hot local lady (1950s pinup cult figure Mara Corday, THE GIANT CLAW*). The other is stop-motion scenes of giant scorpions wrecking shit up intercut with footage of an adorable googly-eyed scorpion puppet face.

One of those two things is a lot of fun to watch. The other is is capable of incapacitating a grown man in a matter of seconds. Guess what the ratio of one to the other is.

Nah, I kid, BLACK SCORPION is ultimately pretty fun. But it definitely suffers from a catastrophic excess of corny 1950s dorkiness. During some of the flirting scenes, the actors are mugging so shamelessly that it seems imminently possible it might degenerate into a singing cowboy movie and squander all the goodwill you earn by showing me giant stop-motion scorpions wrecking shit up. And of course, there’s also this infuriating little kid (Mario Navarro, THE MAGNIFICENT SEVEN) like they had back then, who is always stowing away with the military and putting himself and everyone else in mortal danger because aren’t kids just the darndest lil things. It would be unfair and unreasonable not to expect some cheesy, stiff drama in a movie like this --it’s par for the course, and even the very best movies of THE BLACK SCORPION’s ilk are suffused with it-- but even with that expectations, the non-scorpion parts here are pretty dire.

This seems like a good time for a long hypothetical conversation about science.

Another minor annoyance is that --like THEM!, the great grandaddy progenitor of all giant bug pictures-- it has an odd structure where it seems like the problem is resolved but then there’s an entire act still remaining which basically just repeats the first climax. Here --just like THEM!-- the film begins with partners (Denning and Rivas) who stumble onto an unexpected gigantic arthropod menace and must join forces with the military to do battle, and eventually dynamite the offending arachnids’ lair, and then just assume everything is fine without actually looking, like a Bond Villain leaving our hero alone in an easily escapable death trap. But of course, it’s only 60 minutes in, so that’s not gonna solve the problem; you gotta have a big final battle in an abandoned soccer (“futbol”) stadium with tanks and explosions and so forth.

The result is an abrupt narrative full halt followed by a reset which has to completely rebuild its lost momentum, and there isn’t quite time to manage it. That seems like a trifling complaint in a film this silly, but there’s also no reason on Earth that a giant bug flick of 88 minutes ought to suffer such a lack of narrative momentum. Writers Robert Blees (FROGS, WHO SLEW AUNTIE ROO?) and David Duncan (THE TIME MACHINE, FANTASTIC VOYAGE) seem more intent on faithfully aping the structure of THEM! than considering if it’s actual good storytelling,** and it kind of reminds me of some of the early American slashers (HE KNOWS YOU’RE ALONE, TERROR TRAIN) which intuitively understood that a template for an entire genre had been established by one landmark film (THEM! for giant bugs, HALLOWEEN for slashers) but didn’t quite have the necessary perspective to recognize what parts of the template were intrinsically necessary to the formula and what parts were just distinctive details. The result is a movie with some obvious vestigial limbs showing, not entirely without charm but certainly without much grace.

But who can stay mad at this face?

But, when there’s giant scorpions on-screen, you’re willing to forgive a whole lot. In a giant scorpion picture, only a fool would trade even a frame of enthusiastic stop-motion mayhem for the most elegantly plotted narrative in history. Priorities are what separates a good-bad movie from a bad-bad movie, and THE BLACK SCORPION wisely prioritizes putting forth as much of the title character as possible. The animation (Ostensibly by KING KONG’s Willis O’Brien, but reportedly mostly by his protege, the improbably named Pete Petersen) is lively and full of the kind of eccentric detail and personality and I look for in this sort of hogwash, and they’re smart enough to throw in a variety of scenarios. And also giant bugs. There’s plenty of giant scorpions, of course, but they also get a 30 foot carnivorous worm in there, and a cameo by a giant spider. If he had a good enough agent he could probably have gotten a little box around his name on the poster. Or at least an “and” credit. He makes a real impression in his brief appearance.

Tantalizingly, there’s also reason to believe these non-scorpion creepy-crawlies may actually be veteran players humiliatingly forced to play second fiddle to these young upstart flash-in-the-pan BLACK SCORPIONS: it seems there is quite a bit of online speculation that these models were, in fact, the very ones which were infamously cut from the fabled KING KONG “spider pit” sequence. Amazing as that sounds, it actually seems fairly plausible (there’s not really any reason for such a menagerie of creatures to appear in this lazy b-movie, and O’Brien reportedly borrowed heavily from old models and effects in this film) but alas, I can find no specific source which confirms the speculation, and a few other sources are willing to spoil our fun by pointing out that Ray Harryhausen claimed that many KING KONG models were still stored at RKO in the 1950’s, where many had met with a slow death by decay by this time. Still, since the Spider-pit models didn’t make it into the final print of KONG, it’s not hard to imagine that they were of less interest to RKO and could have ended up in this unassuming little movie without much notice.




Anyway, whether or not BLACK SCORPION is as close as any human is ever likely to get to the holiest grail of all lost cinema, it’s a hoot to watch a bunch of giant stop-motion bugs menace tiny humans, and it boasts an embarrassment of riches in that regard. If they really made all these models and did all this animation just for this dorky B-picture, color me impressed and pass my compliments to the chef, because they could easily have done half as much work and still comfortably fit into the herd of giant bug flicks from the 50’s. Recycled or not, though, the end result offers a lot more whammy than your average giant [noun] formula matinee flick. They even try something a little different by vaguely superimposing real footage of a skittering living scorpion over footage of large crowds running in fear. It doesn't work even slightly, but the effect is kind of weird and nightmarish, and I've never seen anything quite like it. That’s hustle, and I respect it.

I mean, for a horror movie this is ludicrous, but for an art movie it would rock.

Another group really hustling here? Scientists. (In this case, Volcanologists, who have enough to worry about what with earthquakes and exploding mountains of liquid rock and should not, by god, feel any professional obligation to deal with giant arachnids of any kind). You gotta love that earnest 1950’s reverence for science, which is pretty easy to mock, but considering where we’ve gone since then feels positively heartwarming in retrospect. There’s not a speck of doubt in THE BLACK SCORPION’s mind that all our problems can be solved by rational, modernist scientists backed up by a robust military, and so that’s the fantasy we get. Our heroic Volcanologists here are every bit as manly and virile as a Jean-Claude Van Damme flick (they just tend to express it by thoughtfully puffing a pipe and hypothesizing, rather than spin-kicks), and their work is viewed as unambiguously vital and honorable. One perfect encapsulation of the movie’s starry-eyed respect for the profession: Our intrepid men of book-learning actually take a camera with them when they go into the lost world of giant insects on a mission of destruction. The camera has no bearing on the plot, but the movie just naturally figures if we’ve gotta blow this up for the sake of mankind, at least it would be good to try and document some of it. That always bothers me in movies like this, where they have to blow up the ancient temple or the alien spaceship or whatever and no one acts like that’s a great loss for humanity. Way to respect the pursuit of knowledge, BLACK SCORPION.

Another pleasant surprise? Note that the movie features two equal partners, one Mexican and one American. They’re both geologists, both men of science, and there’s never any sense that the Americans consider Mexico or its inhabitants in any way inferior, or even that their respective nationalities divide them in any meaningful way. Granted, the Mexican guy doesn’t get the girl or have any notable dialogue in the entire second half of the movie, but he’s always there dammit, and the two banter about how beautiful Mexico is and discuss the brilliance of its scientists. That would sadly be hailed as progressive today, even in an non-giant-scorpion type movie scenario. Its gender politics are slightly less defensible, but hey, baby steps.

So yeah, in conclusion, if you like movies with giant stop-motion insects intercut with film footage of a big slow-moving googly-eyed scorpion puppet head, which are also less racist than you probably feared, I would recommend THE BLACK SCORPION.



*She also appeared in small roles in a number of films by her friend and TARANTULA co-star Clint Eastwood, including THE GAUNTLET, SUDDEN IMPACT, and PINK CADILLAC.

**Of course, the real tension in the movie is if these two will ever finish their geological volcano survey (which if I learned anything from my buddy Rob, means basically camping out in the most beautiful places on earth, growing a beard, smoking weed, and eventually marrying a beautiful French co-ed.) It’s almost a DISCREET CHARM OF THE BOURGEOIS with giant bugs, because they’re constantly about to start this damn thing and just keep getting interrupted by this and that, mainly scorpion-related.

CHAINSAWNUKAH 2017 CHECKLIST!
The Discreet Charm of the Killing Spree

TAGLINE
Don’t Be Afraid To Scream… It Helps To Relieve The Tension. This message of hope brought to you by the makers of THE BLACK SCORPION.
TITLE ACCURACY
There’s definitely a scorpion, though his unusually large size seems more relevant than his color
LITERARY ADAPTATION?
no
SEQUEL?
no
REMAKE?
none
COUNTRY OF ORIGIN
US production, though according to IMDB at least some scenes were filmed in Mexico.
HORROR SUB-GENRE
Giant bugs!
SLUMMING A-LISTER?
None
BELOVED HORROR ICON?
Willis O’Brien
NUDITY?
None
SEXUAL ASSAULT?
No
WHEN ANIMALS ATTACK!
Pretty much the whole movie
GHOST/ ZOMBIE / HAUNTED BUILDING?
No
POSSESSION?
None
CREEPY DOLLS?
No
EVIL CULT?
No
MADNESS?
No
TRANSMOGRIFICATION?
No
VOYEURISM?
No
MORAL OF THE STORY
Geologists must be well-rounded enough to statistically analyze mountains of tedious seismic data and be the last line of defense in the unlikely event of a giant insect attack.


Call it an affectionate C+

Thursday, November 30, 2017

Mark of the Vampire



Mark of the Vampire (1935)
Dir. Tod Browning
Written by Guy Endore, Bernard Schubert
Starring Lionel Barrymore, Lionel Atwell, Elizabeth Allen, Bela Lugosi


When a Czechoslovakian nobleman (Jean Hersholt, HEIDI. Yeah, fucking HEIDI.) dies under mysterious circumstances (his blood is missing, and he has two holes in his neck), the superstitious ninnies in town believe it to be to be the work of a Dracula or possibly Draculas. Police inspector Lionel Atwill (DOCTOR X, THE VAMPIRE BAT) thinks that’s hogwash, but he can’t deny that something sinister is afoot, especially since there are obviously at least a couple of Draculas (Bela Lugosi, DRACULA, Carroll Borland, Dracula: the play, also author of the Dracula sequel novel Countess Dracula) lurking around and menacing the nobleman’s virginal daughter (Elizabeth Allen, 1935’s A TALE OF TWO CITIES, THE MYSTERY OF MR. X). Who will answer the call to adventure? Why, Lionel Barrymore (best known for being consistently confused with Lionel Richie by me, but also star of MADAME X* and I dunno, IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE and stuff) as Professor Van Helsing Zelen, of course, a helpful fella who’s going to show up and have a lot of curiously familiar-seeming but impossible-to-place advice on what to do about this little Dracula problem.


OK, so yeah, this is a pretty laughably transparent attempt by director Tod Browning to recapture the enormous success he’d had with 1931’s DRACULA by… basically remaking DRACULA with different names and structuring it as some kind of weird murder mystery. He even got Bela Lugosi back, pretty much in the same exact costume, albeit with three new touches. First, he has some kind of weird smudge or birthmark or something on his right temple. Didn’t have that in DRACULA, so totally different character here, guys. Second, he has an accomplice, in the form of Carroll Borland, who might be a Bride of Dracula or a daughter or just a younger female co-worker or something, it’s never made clear I don’t think, although online sources seem to unanimously describe her as a daughter (more on that later). Third and finally, these particular Draculas are in the witness protection program under the pen names “Count Mora” and “Luna,” so that’s one thing which makes them totally different from DRACULA, right off the bat.




Other than that, this is pretty much exactly the same fucking thing, and only a scant four years later, so it’s not like the technology or staging or the culture has taken some radical leap forward and now the story can be told like you’ve never seen it before!! or something. It’s just DRACULA with two Draculas but less of either of them (they have, combined, a single line of dialogue, and it’s the last line in the film) and a lot more extraneous plot and sitting around, plus a bunch of “comedy,” if by comedy you mean people shouting and mugging and running around without any actual jokes, per se (otherwise known as Hong Kong comedy).


In fact, I think there’s a case to be made (and genre critics Kim Newman and Steve Jones make it on the DVD commentary) that MARK OF THE VAMPIRE may actually be some kind of low-key satire of the horror genre. Barrymore, anyway, is giving a campy enough performance to, at the very least, amble riiiiight up to the edge of parody. And if the broader comedy stuff is supposed to be “relief,” it probably gets about as much screen time as the horror it’s supposed to be be relieving. And then there’s that ending. That ending. But we’ll come to that in time.




First, though, the good news. Even though MARK OF THE VAMPIRE is in every way a shameless rehash of DRACULA with a worse story and a messy jumble of tones most of which work feebly if at all, and even with the extremely questionable ending which we’ll discuss in due course, I’m pleased to report that at least one thing does work: it has, if anything, an even more extravagantly lugubrious gothic horror atmosphere than its predecessor. And that counts for a lot. Shot by 10-times-nominated twice-awarded best cinematography Oscar winner James Wong Howe** (BELL BOOK AND CANDLE, HUD), gothic castles and rolling fog have never looked so sumptuously otherwordly, and Lugosi and Borland are both instantly iconic in their silent, predatory menace. A whole, whole lot of their role is just to stand around being eerily lit from below or slowly advancing towards the camera, but Howe and Browning are just the team to make that plenty sufficient to wrench a shiver out of an audience. And hey, there’s even a few bits of fun production value, particularly Borland taking flight in an impressively convincing bit of stage magic. This is strong work, and there’s no question about it. Unnecessary, derivative strong work, perhaps, but unmistakably masterful in its own right. It’s the very quintessence of this era of Hollywood horror filmmaking, replete with all the looming castles, roiling fog, and lazily flapping bat puppets you could possibly want -- a cliche, to be sure, but one of the absolute finest iterations of this particular paradigm ever to grace the silver screen. In fact, I’d be willing to argue that only THE WOLFMAN cinematographer Joseph Valentine comes close to giving Howe and Browning a run for their money when it comes to conjuring the perfect dreamworld of early Gothic Horror shadows and mist. And if that was what MARK OF THE VAMPIRE was peddling, I think it would probably be much beloved and much better remembered today.




But then there’s that ending to come along and turn everything on its head.


Which means that now is the time to reveal a major spoiler which I actually knew, but had forgotten going into this movie. See, MARK OF THE VAMPIRE is often called (though it is not credited as) a remake of Browning’s 1927 Lon Chaney-starring silent film LONDON AFTER MIDNIGHT, and it employs the same twist. And if you’ve seen LONDON AFTER MIDNIGHT, you know what that means. It means you’re either a filthy liar or you’re filthy rich and don’t know it yet, because LONDON AFTER MIDNIGHT is very possibly the most sought-after lost film of all time. It’s increasingly unlikely that we will ever see it (there’s a rumor that Stanley Kubrick was buried with the last existing copy… that’s your cue, makers of NATIONAL TREASURE III), but fortunately we have enough archival material to have a pretty good idea of how the plot played out -- in fact, TCM put out a full length recreation a few years back using stills and intertitles taken from the original shooting script.

Yep, this one. I'm sure the movie is shit, but man oh man, is that an amazing image. 

So, if you know anything about that film, you know that this one shares an ending which is both an infuriating letdown and, in retrospect, a brazen, nearly giallo-level act of narrative insanity. I don’t know if they somehow pulled it off the first time around in 1927, but here it’s handled so awkwardly that it’s frankly stunning anyone thought this was a releasable, completed motion picture, even in 1935. It’s a ridiculous idea by itself, but the damage is compounded disastrously by a seriously fumbled reveal which makes the ridiculous downright confounding. Or rather, a total lack of a reveal. The “twist” arrives so suddenly and with so little fanfare that I genuinely got confused and had to rewind to make sure I didn’t miss something. It’s so abrupt that it almost seems like the reels must be spliced out of order or something, but nope.


Essentially, (SPOILERS for an 85-year-old move) after being menaced by supernatural bloodsuckers one too many times, Professor Zelen and a few other characters head down into the abandoned castle to root them out (I’m actually not clear if this is the same castle where our victims live and they just have an unfinished vampire-infested basement, or if the haunted castle is next door or something). The poor virginal noblewoman, meanwhile, wanders into her living room to find her worst fear realized: her father is in there, returned from the grave as a vampire! Then all the sudden Zelen grabs a minor character who’s wandering around the basement with him and forcibly hypnotizes him, and you’re like, “Huh? Did I miss something?” To which the movie answers, “No, you didn’t miss anything, it’s totally normal and understandable that there would be a secret conspiracy to hire actors, including an actor who is the exact double of the recently deceased nobleman, to play vampires in order to trick a murderer into ????, and everyone pretends to be scared and we go through this whole elaborate charade where the vampires stay in character even when they’re alone and no one’s watching and the guy being gaslit isn’t around, and then when that somehow doesn’t produce the desired results (and how could it not!) we drop the whole idea and just easily hypnotize the suspect at the last minute and he confesses to everything.” And you’re all like, “Wait, what the fuck did I just watch?” and the movie’s all like “nothing! Absolutely nothing! Literally every bit of actual content that you just watched was gaslighting bullshit and it didn’t even work or factor into the solution.” And then it has the gall to end on a cheap meta-joke about how Lugosi famously played Dracula, proving that lazy meta jokes about the horror genre are basically as old as the genre itself (I think we just forgot all that in the 1950s when we correctly identified meta-humor as the province of debauched communists).




I mean, that is some straight up craziness (made all the more brazen by the fact that it’s a remake of a twist that audiences reportedly hated the first time!). There’s no world in which that twist makes any sense, not just as a logical narrative but just as basic storytelling. What kind of unhinged madman just gives up on the plot of the movie with five minutes left and abandons everything and introduces an entirely new plot?*** I mean, Michael Bay, I guess, but even he wouldn’t have the balls to actually stick to one plot all the way through and then change course at the last minute. He’s happy to just change plots every twenty minutes or so and count on such a maliciously punishing ten day runtime that by the time you get to the end you can’t even vaguely remember how you began. MARK OF THE VAMPIRE, at a slim not-quite-full-movie-length 60 minutes, does not have that luxury.


In fact, even back in 1935 when you could expect a work of fiction to comfortably make it through a plot in less than six seasons of one-hour episodes, 60 minutes was still unusually brisk, and the film seems oddly truncated, moving along at a odd, halting pace and filled with characters and plot points which seem to appear and vanish haphazardly (Barrymore, arguably the film’s protagonist, shows up for the first time with his back to the audience and no introduction of any kind). When scholars noted that the early reviews listed the runtime at 80+ minutes, they naturally got to wondering if the excised 10 minutes maybe contained some, uh, important plot points that might have made this one a little better. Maybe it had a more consistent tone? Maybe Lugosi actually had dialogue?


One song-simmering rumor has it that in the original cut, “Count Mora” and “Luna” had a lurid backstory in which they enjoyed an incestuous relationship, which led the Count to strangle her and shoot himself in the head, resulting in their respective vampiric states. That has the advantage of explaining their otherwise vague relationship and explaining what the deal is with that weird smudge of Lugosi’s forehead, but unfortunately the more I look into it the more unlikely I think it is that MGM would ever have let a script like that come anywhere near being filmed. I’ve read a few reasonably convincing claims that perhaps the original story treatment did include this detail, but scholars who had access to the shooting script were unable to find any trace of it. Sadly I think Newman and Jones are likely correct that the excised material was mostly exposition and comedy. Probably the right choice, given how dire both those things are in the finished film, though a little of either more of either might at least have helped the finished product come out a little more defined. As it is, there’s a distinct whiff of a film which doesn’t really have a clear idea of what it’s trying to do, except ride on DRACULA’s coattails with LONDON AFTER MIDNIGHT’s plot twist.

To be honest, it really looks like a bird shat on him.


We tend to think of remakes as a syndrome of modern creative miasma, the purview of cynical corporate hacks who consider it their life’s work to sell brand names, and consider any actual art generated in the endeavor to be an unpleasantly lamentable but grudgingly tolerated byproduct of that noble goal. But of course, every generation thinks they invented greed. Remakes and shameless cash grabs have been around since the very beginning of cinema, and probably art itself. The earliest I can comfortably identify is the 1904 GREAT TRAIN ROBBERY, which features a gang of bandits robbing a train very much in the same vein as the film you’re thinking of, which is 1903’s THE GREAT TRAIN ROBBERY, one of the most lucrative and influential films of the entire silent era. There’s also a unauthorized, 1908 shot-by-shot remake titled EXCURSION TO THE MOON (I’ll let you guess what it’s a remake of). In fact, it seems that early cinema was rife with unauthorized remakes and flat-out film pirating (entrepreneur and filmmaker Siegmund Lubin was said to have sold more copies of Melies films than Melies himself did), and in fact it seems that it was not until a 1914 amendment to the Copyright Act of 1909 that motion pictures became a specifically protected work. Before that, they were essentially copyrighted as a series of still photographs, making it very difficult to enforce any kind of intellectual property claim. By 1922 Bram Stoker’s heirs successfully sued Murnau for his brazen daylight robbery of Dracula, but Browning seemed to have no such problem here (possibly because he was the director of the original), despite the widely acknowledged fact that the two films are, at the very least, exceedingly and specifically similar.


Indeed, it is almost certainly only the inaccessibility of LONDON AFTER MIDNIGHT which has made it the more intriguing of the two; film scholar William K. Everson viewed both films in the 1950’s (prior to a the 1967 vault fire which destroyed the last remaining copy the presumed destruction of the film in the MGM vaults sometimes in the 1960s****) and actually preferred MARK OF THE VAMPIRE. I’m sure if the situation was reversed and we just had a few tantalizing shots of Lugosi lurking in the mist to pique our imaginations, we’d all be rushing out to dig up Kubrick’s grave and wrench that last copy of MARK OF THE VAMPIRE from his greedy mitts. But that’s not the world we live in. We live in one where we get to see MARK OF THE VAMPIRE, and can agree that it’s pretty deeply flawed but also has some damn cool things about it, and the one thing it gets really right (an appropriately spooky black and white gothic vibe) is the most important thing anyway. Is it better to know the full truth and be a little disappointed, or to never know and preserve that sense of wonderful possibility? Reader, I cannot know. I do know this, though: whatever its flaws, MARK OF THE VAMPIRE does make a powerful argument against the common wisdom that catching mystery killers is as easy as hiring actors to dress up like vampires and live the part full time offstage***** to occasionally gaslight your chief suspect into confessing. I know, I know, it seems so obvious, but the world is a complicated place. Next time just hypnotize ‘em instead, that always does the trick.

FIN.




*DOCTOR X, THE MYSTERY OF MR. X, and MADAME X are, to the best of my knowledge, in no way related, and it’s a complete coincidence that three actors here all appear in movies with similar names. I only bring it up because I’m now fairly certain we can say with total confidence these were Malcolm X’s three favorite movies and he gave himself that stylish sobriquet in reference to his beloved “X” films from the late 20’s and early 30’s. I really feel like his encyclopedic knowledge of pre-code British crime cinema is too rarely discussed.


** Howe was born in Taishan, Canton Province, China, in 1899(!) and immigrated to the US at the age of five, overcoming grueling racism (his marriage to his white wife was illegal and unrecognized by the US government for a full decade) to become one of the most celebrated and influential cinematographers of all time. Somebody oughtta make that movie.


*** One possible answer would be FRANKENSTEIN CONQUERS THE WORLD, in which a giant pissed-off octopus shows up out of the blue in the last five minutes. But it’s Japanese so that probably doesn’t count.

**** Or Not? Although there is a wikipedia page about this supposed fire in 1967, after literally hours of exhaustive searches and a half-dozen emails to various film journalists and historians, I can find not one bit of independent data which backs up any specific claims about a vault fire in the 1960s which destroyed the film. Multiple sites make this claim, but no primary documentation appears to be available about specifically when, and if, such a fire occurred. But the movie definitely does seem to be gone, and a fire around this period seems a likely explanation. UPDATE: Or double not? I asked film historian David Pierce about this baffling lack of evidence, and he voiced what I was beginning to suspect, telling me: “I've never been able to find additional detail on the MGM fire in Culver City. I think it unlikely that a huge number of films were lost, as most of those films were lost many years earlier. I reviewed the correspondence between James Card and MGM starting in the 1950s and the studio no longer had many of those films even then. I believe that there was no single catastrophic event with MGM; most of the films simply decomposed before they could be copied.“ On the other hand, he interviewed several people in the 1990s who remembered a fire, including Roger Mayer, so it’s still likely, on the balance of the evidence, that at least some films perished this way. Was LONDON AFTER MIDNIGHT among them? I think at this point it's probably impossible to know. But optimists, take heart: according to Lon Chaney scholar Jon Mirsalis, the copyright expires in 2022, and it's just barely possible that someone out there is holding out til then before they publicly reveal they still have the original nitrate film (which, under proper storage conditions, could theoretically still survive), in order to cash in on their valuable property without MGM demanding a cut.


***** Borland, who seems to be a bountiful if not always reliable source of information on the film, claims there was a proposed alternate ending where Barrymore gets a telegram from the actors apologizing that they were delayed and would not arrive for some time, suggesting that the silent creeps were the real deal. That would also be supremely idiotic, but at least more satisfying that retroactively removing any actual supernatural elements (except hypnotism) from the whole plot.







CHAINSAWNUKAH 2017 CHECKLIST!

The Discreet Charm of the Killing Spree



TAGLINE
Not yet invented
TITLE ACCURACY
Hard to know what that means; the alternate title is THE VAMPIRES OF PRAGUE, which is a little more accurate. Is the MARK OF THE VAMPIRE that smudge on Lugosi’s forehead?
LITERARY ADAPTATION?
None
SEQUEL?
None
REMAKE?
Almost certainly a remake of LONDON AFTER MIDNIGHT
COUNTRY OF ORIGIN
USA
HORROR SUB-GENRE
Vampires, Gaslighting
SLUMMING A-LISTER?
Lionel Barrymore, and possibly even Lionel Atwill. Two Lionels for the price of one!
BELOVED HORROR ICON?
Bela Lugosi, Tod Browning
NUDITY?
No
SEXUAL ASSAULT?
No
WHEN ANIMALS ATTACK!
Bat spooks everyone by emerging out of the darkness!
GHOST/ ZOMBIE / HAUNTED BUILDING?
The Vampirism seems to be based out of a castle, but it doesn’t seem to be the building’s fault.
POSSESSION?
Yes, people seem to get hypnotized by the vampires
CREEPY DOLLS?
None
EVIL CULT?
None
MADNESS?
None
TRANSMOGRIFICATION?
Vamp into bat!
VOYEURISM?
The vamps seem to be perpetually lurking outside, keeping an eye on their victims
MORAL OF THE STORY
Sometimes we’re better off with the legend than the facts.