Showing posts with label SPORTS. Show all posts
Showing posts with label SPORTS. Show all posts

Monday, April 25, 2016

The Subtlety Guide to Shit You Should Have Seen in the Year of Our Lord, 2015! Part 3: Docs N' Drama!




Part III: The Best of the Rest: Documentary and Drama Category!

Confession time: there ended up being so damn many winners this year that I broke my usual year-in-review post into THREE parts: part one is here, with my top 14 of the year. You should check that out first, obviously, since it's the very cream of the crop. But I saw too many movies I loved to stop at 14, so what follows is everything else which I thought was undeniably great this year, in no particular order. Last week it was genre stuff with Action, Sci-Fi, Horror, Art, and Comedy! Today, In our last segment, we're covering Drama and Documentary.

Documentary

THE LOOK OF SILENCE

This is a deeply affecting, expertly constructed, powerfully observed documentary which really disappointed me. It has the unfortunate handicap of being director Joshua Oppenheimer and Co-director Anonymous J. Pleasedontkillme’s follow-up to their 2012 masterpiece THE ACT OF KILLING. That film is perhaps the only movie of the new millennium which I would feel completely confident hailing as One Of The Greatest Films Ever Made (it lost Best Documentary to 50 FEET FROM STARDOM, a nice movie about singers who worked with famous people), and this is not just from the same directors, but also about the same subject. That subject, of course, is how modern Indonesians come to terms with the 1965-66 Indonesian genocides which killed well over a million people (by way of comparison, the disastrous Syrian civil war hasn’t yet reached half that number of dead in four years), and yet today remain largely a matter of public pride for the perpetrators and fearful silence for the victims. ACT OF KILLING brilliantly snuck past the defenses of several killers by encouraging their bragging, politely handing them the rope to hang themselves with. But LOOK OF SILENCE takes a somewhat more conventional approach: an ophthalmologist whose brother was killed during the purges now conducts eye tests for former killers, and while doing so indirectly challenges them about their responsibility by first bringing up the subject (eliciting nostalgia and pride) and then pointing out that his brother was one of their victims (which makes them uncomfortable and evasive). Give it this: our hero must have balls of brass to do this, and there’s a wrenching power to watching him sit silently, while the people who murdered his family sit smugly in front of him, whining that he’s being unfair to them. But unfortunately while ACT OF KILLING was startlingly elucidating in its examination of the killers, the confrontational nature of LOOK OF SILENCE results in exactly what you would imagine: the killers totally shut down, sometimes to the point of just walking away or sitting in stony silence. It’s more a companion piece to ACT OF KILLING in that it shows exactly how not to approach this topic if you want to get anything of substance from the actual perpetrators. Which may be the point; like last year’s Rumsfeldsploitation fiasco THE UNKNOWN KNOWN, this is essentially a study in frustration, a window into the impossibility of getting powerful people who committed grievous wrongs to own up to them, balanced against our overpowering need for them to do so in order to give us closure. If ACT OF KILLING was a window into the unchecked self-aggrandizing of villains, this is a window into the painful impotence of victims. The result makes for cinema as gripping and emotionally raw as documentaries come, but somewhat limited compared to its masterful predecessor. As a symbolic act of confrontation, it has plenty of power… but not a lot of insight. It feels like an aside to ACT OF KILLING, not the main show. Even so, this is unmistakably searing, deeply affecting stuff, and it will leave its mark.


Since he can’t safely go back to Indonesia anymore, I might humbly suggest that if Oppenheimer wants to make a third film in the trilogy, he might make it about the CIA programs here at home that encouraged the slaughter and provided material support to it. I appreciate that ACT and LOOK keep the focus on the Indonesians without needing to tie US history into the mix, but it might be time for an accounting about our role in this mess, too.


RED ARMY
From a depressing documentary to a crowd-pleasing one: this is the story of the Russian ice hockey team that dominated the sport during the Cold War, and were eventually seduced over to the NHL. But more than that, it’s the story of the politics of the time, and the price paid by the ambitious sporty types who got roped into the huge, propaganda-churning spirit-crushing political machine when all they wanted to do was be good at hockey. This is not just anti-communist misery-porn, though; these guys really were great, and remain very proud about what they accomplished, and even --perhaps somewhat surprisingly-- their motherland, which by all accounts treated them rather harshly. They’re also fuckin’ hilarious, in their deadpan Russian sort of way, and so is the movie. As a simple, exciting, and funny way to explore the insane cold-war mindset from a safe distance, you could hardly do better, and this is coming from someone who literally could not possibly care less about hockey as a sport, or for that matter sports in general (it was executive produced by Werner Herzog, who I doubt spends a lot of time at the… I dunno, skating rink? What’s the name for the place you play hockey? They probably mention it in this doc but it’s been a few months). Trigger warning, though: This is a American-Russian co-production, so it ends with some unusually positive, eyebrow-raising words about how Vladimir Putin is making Russia great again. I think these guys honestly believe it, but I doubt it was an entirely unmotivated gesture of goodwill on their part. Some things never change, but at least now these guys are rich.

AN HONEST LIAR

Almost certainly my favorite documentary of the year, this clever biopic details the remarkable life of James Randi, both as one of the US’s premier illusionists (a job he describes with the title -- he’s being paid to trick his audiences) and subsequently as one of its premier skeptics and debunkers. Randi (now 87) is a spirited, funny figure, and his life has been chock full of landmark feats in both his careers, though the movie leans towards his later years -- most notably, perhaps, in his epic takedowns of charlatan faith healer Peter Popoff and self-proclaimed psychic Uri Geller. But the movie (perhaps even unexpectedly to the filmmakers) picks up a more interesting thread as it goes along. It explores the contradictions inherent in a man who devoted the first half of his life to great trickery and the second half to exposing frauds, and finds that truth might be a slightly more slippery concept than Randi’s dogmatic skepticism easily allows. Using Randi’s own surprising and sometimes tragic life, they gently imply that maybe people want to be tricked, even need to be tricked, and explore a surprising ambivalence about whether or not this is a tragic flaw or a survival mechanism. How honest do we dare be, about anything other than the fact that we prefer a comforting lie a lot of the time (and that, only when we’re not busy lying ourselves)? Though the film (rightly) has a lot of admiration and love for the lively septuagenarian, it perhaps finds its most interesting insights in interrogating his worldview a little. Like 2012’s Ricky Jay doc DECEPTIVE PRACTICES, it is this lightly philosophical turn which subtly transmogrifies what was already a riotously entertaining journey through a colorful life into something a bit more substantial. AN HONEST LIAR is just as funny and delightful as its central character, but it’s also an unexpectedly moving, thoughtful film, especially for what is essentially a talking-heads clipshow until near the end. Worthwhile even for those who would not consider themselves fans of Randi, but especially essential for anyone who already loves him.


Drama

TIMBUKTU
In Timbuktu, Mali, Jihadist invaders take control and impose a strict, fundamentalist Islamic law on the locals.* That sounds about as grim a scenario as one could imagine, but  Mali-born, Soviet-educated, and France-based director Abderrahmane Sissako (who, I would guess, is no stranger to cultural conflict) examines the scene with a more nuanced lens than one would expect. Rather than a misiberalist drama, it plays out as an darkly absurd parable, full of flawed but likeable characters and tragicomic slice-of-life sketches (boys play soccer with an imaginary ball after sports are banned, a young jihadist sneaks a cigarette when his boss is away). It has a few moments of gut-wrenching brutality (a couple deemed to be adulterous are buried up to their necks and stoned) but mostly avoids the obvious villainous jihadi cliches you are probably expecting to see, instead merely observing the dissonance between the complex, diverse local culture and the harsh new regime. Rich, closely-observed details provide much of the film’s power: sometimes, they’re mechanical (the newcomers don’t speak the local language, and translation can be a crucible of misperception) other times deeply human (a jihadi commander confesses to his translator how bad he feels about sentencing a man to death, but does it without changing his demeanor so the condemned man won’t realize it) and still others mysterious and surreal (a minor conflict between two characters inexplicably escalates into murder, silhouetted against a sunset-soaked river, in what might be the single most stunning image of the whole year). The film isn’t big on narrative or exposition, instead simply pointing a roving eye at the human side of the headlines. It’s not a film that feels like a righteous declamation, nor political rabble-rousing  --it cares far too much about these people to ever use them as props-- but nonetheless it makes for completely absorbing cinema. Even at a brisk 96 minutes, it feels expansive, unhurried, and completely confident in its unique blend of beauty, humanism, and bleakness, and frankly now that I’m writing this, it was a terrible mistake not to include this in my top 14. Only the somewhat truncated climax holds this one back from being a masterpiece of the highest order; and even at that, it’s an absolutely unmissable experience and a desperately needed perspective on the world that probably only Sissako could have provided.


*This happened in 2012, but I never heard about it. Looks like it’s over now. I always like it when I find out about a problem and then immediately learn it’s already been resolved. Feels like progress.


MAPS TO THE STARS
I would never have figured David Cronenberg for a “burn, Hollywood, burn!” type, but MAPS TO THE STARS is about as savage a condemnation of callow tinseltown vanity as, uh, tinseltown has yet been able to produce. Working with a fine cast and a nearly 20-year-old script (?!), Cronenberg trots out the usual assortment of delusional Hollywood phonies and pathological egomaniacs --most notably a 13-year-old Bieber-esque fame monster played by Evan Bird (CHAINED), his TV-shrink father (John Cusack), a desperate fading starlet (Julianne Moore), and her mysterious new assistant with the burn scars hidden beneath long gloves (Mia Wasikowska)-- and, at least initially, this seems like the conventional sort of vicious Hollywood satire, the kind they’ve been making since at least SUNSET BOULEVARD. Well, except for the satire part. That may have been how it was written (and certain parts are broad enough that I suspect it was), but it doesn’t play out like that at all. Instead of black comedy, the tone is one of icy, mysterious dread, perpetually circling but never quite becoming out-and-out horror. There’s a mystery at the heart of the plot, and as it unspools the characters get somewhat more complex --if no less broad-- sometimes with genuinely surprising results. Excellent performances abound (particularly Moore, who plays her deluded has-been character with a withering abandon) and combined with the tone and the strange asides to the 1942 French poem Liberté, the net result is that in spite of all the familiar digs at LA phoniness, the movie is more a rumination on ego and identity than yet another masturbatory Hollywood in-joke. It suffers from some structural problems, but like all of Cronenberg’s work, there’s something too perverse and compelling lurking here for you to dare lose interest. A strange, off-kilter, and subtly unnerving story, even by Cronenberg’s usual standards.


ABOUT ELLY
This Iranian film from Asghar Farhadi (A SEPERATION, THE PAST) actually came out in 2009, but it didn’t make it to America til 2015 (thanks, Obama!). But it’s just as well, because in 2009 I wouldn’t have known to take a chance on it, but after the masterful THE PAST in 2014, Farhadi has a much-coveted free pass with me, where I’ll see anything he does. And that’s working out great so far, because ABOUT ELLY is another terrific work. Just like THE PAST, it’s fundamentally a tense drama about the personal dynamics of a small group in an isolated place, but with an unassuming gilding of mystery thriller. A bunch of pretty, wealthy young people sharing a beach house are thrown into chaos when the titular Elly -- who none of them know very well -- mysteriously vanishes. In her absence, the group tries to figure out what to do, and what happened, and, for that matter, who Elly really was. What follows is a sharp examination of group dynamics in a stress situation, coupled with an intriguing and subtle examination of how we imagine identities for others. Tense and existential without losing its sense of intimate realism.


CAROL
A Sumptuously filmed, vividly acted drama about a burgeoning lesbian affair in the spirit-crushing 1950’s. Just as weepy as you’d want it, but fortunately the movie offers characters a little more complex and interesting than your standard tearjerker melodrama, and Cate Blanchett and Rooney Mara are more than up for the challenge. Unfortunately Mara’s repressed, mousey character has the more interesting arc (Blanchett’s story gradually devolves into a standard custody battle with her frustrated, vindictive husband) but the movie never quite comes around to letting it play out. It seems to want to push a true-love fairy tale which doesn’t seem to really make sense in the complicated, messy world it depicts. But whatever, the story’s as lugubrious as it needs to be, and the experience of watching it is sensuous and captivating.

THEEB
This Jordanian film finds a young Bedouin boy unexpectedly plunged into the chaos of WWI when a British officer enlists the help of his family. What starts off a sweeping adventure tale (capturing the unassuming magnificence of the Jordanian desert with an unsentimental realism) quickly turns into violence and danger, but the movie resists easy genre classification. It has moments of blistering intensity, but mostly focuses on capturing the quiet moments in-between the action. It’s slow, contemplative, and doesn’t go at all where you expect, all while portraying both a time and place we almost never get to see on the big screen with precision and nuance. Maybe a little too shy about cheap thrills for its own good, but even so, it’s a fascinating, deeply engrossing little movie.


BRIDGE OF SPIES
Ho-hum, another perfectly tailored, effortlessly gripping, and meticulously crafted crowdpleaser from Steven Spielberg. I’m really getting sick of him making such consistently technically masterful, irresistibly engaging movies. And it’s getting easy to take them for granted, especially when he tends towards such middlebrow, mainsream-prestige subjects so much nowadays. But if anyone but Spielberg had made BRIDGE OF SPIES, I feel like people would have been blown away by how pitch-perfect it is; it’s absolutely wall-to-wall packed with wonderfully endearing performances, witty, literate conversations, and gripping suspense sequences. But even more than that, it’s a movie which is surprisingly unafraid --in its middlebrow, mainstream-prestige sort of way-- to genuinely tackle some big issues about the Cold War mindset in specific and the legitimacy of American exceptionalism in general, without getting overtly sanctimonious about it, or ever letting up, even for a second, on its relentless desire to keep you entertained. The one sour note is Thomas Newman’s pushy score, which lays it on way thicker than is needed when the acting and filmmaking are this strong. If Spielberg has any weakness at this point in his career, it’s probably that his mastery of the artform is so complete that it probably benefits from restraint more than excess, and he doesn’t always quite have it in him to dial it back when he can overwhelm with sheer force. Even so, BRIDGE OF SPIES represents the very best in respectable, mature mainstream filmmaking and we’d be fools to take it for granted.

LOVE AND MERCY
Ugh, Musician biopics. Here’s a good idea: let’s depict an artist who is recognized specifically for their unique voice and inimitable performance style, and then have someone else do it. I’m sure some actor can do just as good a job with that. And also, if we could get a side dish of one traumatic event from their childhood which totally explains everything else that happened in their life, that would be great, too. Oh, and if you could just string together a long series of recreations of times when they did stuff and dramatize every major event of their whole life, I also think that would really help us understand them so much better. So LOVE AND MERCY was a tough sell for me, but it turns out it avoids most of the usual biopic cliches by a) using the original music, not trying to recreate it, and b) focusing exclusively on two points in troubled Beach Boys singer/composer Brian Wilson’s life: first, the creatively rich but psychologically destructive experience of creating Pet Sounds in 1966, and second, his efforts to escape the control of tyrannical, exploitive “therapist” Eugene Landy in 1986. The two stories are loosely interwoven, but as much as I like John Cusack and Elizabeth Banks in the ‘86 segments, Paul Dano as the younger Wilson in his Pet Sounds days is absolutely marvelous, funny and frustrating and eccentric and loveable, making Wilson’s essential strangeness into a fully realized character, not just a symptom or suite of actorly tics. Director Bill Pohlad (mostly a producer up til now) instill the experience with just enough sun-soaked stylization to allow a little subjectivity to peek through, but really it’s Dano’s show here, everyone else is just along for the ride. What emerges is not so much a biopic as two snapshots of a tortured genius at two very distinct moments in his life, and they’re both so rich with Wilson’s strange, tragicomic charm that you could completely forget that all this is supposed to be some silly prestige picture at all.


BLACK MASS
Johnny Depp is every bit as good as you’ve heard here, playing the ice-cold gangster James “Whitey” Bulger with a truly devilish intensity unlike anything you’ve seen him do before. But you know Depp is good; he’s always gonna be good, it’s just that sometimes he’s good in the wrong way for a movie, or just in the wrong movie, period. What makes BLACK MASS work isn’t just that Depp is great, it’s that director Scott Cooper (CRAZY HEART) and writers Jez Butterworth (EDGE OF TOMORROW, GET ON UP) and Mark Mallouk (nothing) actually craft a movie around him which is good enough to deserve it. Depp gets the showiest role, but the filmmakers do a fine job of crafting a long and multi-year crime story into an actual workable narrative, putting the conflicted FBI agent John Connelly (Joel Edgerton) at its center as a means of examining the worrying overlapping worlds of law enforcement and organized crime. Edgerton is great too, though in a less flashy sort of way, and a strong cast of seasoned character actors make sure the somewhat tired crime epic procedural side has plenty of vitality. The script’s ability to hew a functional narrative film out of so much sprawling historical material is quite impressive, and with Depp’s menacing presence dominating the film even when he’s not on-screen (which is surprisingly often) it zips along through 122 minutes with a commendable urgency. The only thing which holds it back from true genre greatness is it’s somewhat disappointing lack of style; Cooper and cinematographer Masanobu Takayanagi cultivate a very naturalistic look for the film, which worked nicely for the other Takayanagi-shot, Boston-set multi-year crime ensemble this year (SPOTLIGHT) but feels a bit flat here, considering the somewhat more intense, exaggerated characters and the greek tragedy Connelly’s character arc eventually takes him through. Still, I fucking love gangster epics, and this is one of the best in years, maybe since the MEREINE films.  

PHOENIX
In postwar Berlin, a Holocaust survivor with a new face must pretend to be a stranger in order to get close enough to her grifter ex-husband to find out if he was the one who betrayed her to the Nazis. That’s a classic noir plot if I ever heard one, but in the hands of German director Christian Petzold (2012’s BARBARA) it doesn’t quite play out that way -- it’s more repressed drama than white-knuckled thriller, perhaps not entirely to its benefit. But then again, I can’t argue that it doesn’t work; Petzold is comfortable enough with the inherent and inescapable tension of the premise that he doesn’t need to push the point and can just linger on the complex emotions at play here. And complex they are -- Nina Hoss (A MOST WANTED MAN) gets a role about as nuanced as any actor could ever hope for, playing many layers of hidden meaning with each subtle change of expression, and it is through her that we try to interpret her husband’s ambiguous motives and character. I’d probably have preferred a more stylized, classic noir take on this somewhat outrageous premise, but there’s not denying the power of the film as it is. And the ending, when it comes, is a thing of such absolute perfection that I cannot find it in my heart to offer any equivocating criticism of the film as a whole. Petzold obviously knew where he was going, and while I may have had my doubts here and there about his methods, I can’t argue with his results. That last scene is as spellbinding a bit of cinema as you could ever hope to see.


Also mildly worth watching, but not good enough to warrant a whole review, except for the ones I already reviewed:
The Hallow (actually this is pretty good, I don't know why I didn't put it in my Horror Best Of. But too late now. Just read the full review, I liked it).
Straight Outta Compton
I dunno, I guess Trainwreck? I like Basketball cameos.

AND THAT'S IT! That's all she wrote, folks! Back to your regularly scheduled horror programming next, and thanks for playing The Subtlety Guide to Shit You Should Have Seen in the Year of Our Lord, 2015!

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

Tourist Trap



Tourist Trap (1979)
Dir. David Schmoeller
Written by David Schmoeller, J. Larry Carrol
Starring Jocelyn Jones, Chuck Connors, Jon Van Ness, Robin Sherwood

I should note, the tagline "Every year young people disappear" has to be the laziest possible tagline for this movie about telekinetic mannequin killers. Jesus, is there any horror movie that wouldn't apply to? This movie is worthy of a much better tagline, so feel free to submit ideas. 



This is a nifty little oddity from eternally underrated horror director David Schmoeller (CRAWLSPACE, PUPPET MASTER) whose premise seems as clichéd as they come: a carload of attractive twentysomethings gets their car stuck outside a run-down wax museum and then get bumped off one by one by a masked killer with a gimmicky doll theme. What makes it different is that despite the familiar premise, it focuses on creating an unsettling, off-kilter --even surreal-- atmosphere, which makes everything feel much more malicious and threatening than it usually might.


Part of it has to be the creepy mannequins, obviously. Mannequins are creepy enough as they are, one of the best (but also laziest) ways to mine the uncanny valley for some respectable skin-crawling premises. They’re so like humans, and they’re even made to stand in for humans, but they’re also impassive and alien in their abstract perfection. They’re pod people, interlopers of humanity. And if one is creepy, a whole elaborate wax museum of them is much worse, and when you start to get in the back rooms where their appearance of ordered humanity disappears into a wild cacophony of displaced limbs and grinning, impassive severed heads... well, that’s already some nightmare material right there.


This is exactly why we need to move beyond the Valley of the Dolls.

But it gets worse, because these mannequins are intentionally fucked up and distorted, weird limbless bodies with cartoon heads or built with exaggerated, grotesque features (particularly the ones who can suddenly open their mouths unnaturally wide in a scream that makes them look like the Predator). These have an icky body horror Cronenbergian vibe (and are definitely the creepiest mannequins I’ve seen since that giant spider made of mannequin parts in SILENT HILL: REVELATIONS) but even beyond their intrinsic disturbing qualities, they ingeniously also convey volumes about the disturbed mind that actually made them. These are dolls which are fashioned by someone with an unnervingly aberrant vision of the human body, someone who is seeing the world through his own distorted lens. We don’t ever really learn a whole lot about the killer, but through the menagerie he’s fashioned out of these fake human bodies we can get a pretty good sense about how frighteningly divergent his world is from the one we inhabit. And that’s even scarier.

Say "aaaaahhhhhh"


I’m gonna tread lightly because I don’t want to spoil much about the killer himself, but it turns out to be pleasingly complicated and strange. A whole bunch of weird twists kind of dovetail together into this bizarre half-explained nightmare which gets resolved in a way which seems both wickedly simple and enticingly ambiguous. Schmoeller’s real stroke of genius, though, was conscripting square-jawed Chuck Connors* as the backwoods owner of the titular Tourist Trap that starts the whole saga. Connors has such natural gravitas and an earnest, inherent good-guy quality to him, but his character also seems very slightly off, either socially awkward or subtly menacing, or something. You can’t quite place what’s going on with him (nearly always a bad sign in horror movies) but Connors so resolutely recalls Charlton Heston that you also can’t quite rule out that his motives are innocent and his awkwardness a result of the never-mentioned-but-always-present class tension between these pretty young city people and this lonely, overalls-favoring country boy. It’s a great role for him, and Connors creates a memorable and unique character, especially for this sort of movie where you’d usually get some greasy redneck stereotype in this role.

From left: your worst nightmares, Chuck Connors (wikipedia stresses that he's "not to be confused with "Chuck Norris." Was this a big problem before they put up that warning?).


Obviously the movie’s weak point is the victims, who never quite seem substantial enough to engender much sympathy. True, they aren’t the best actors ever (though a long way from the worst, especially for this genre) but more importantly we never learn much about them or see any spark of personality which would endear them to us in any way. Usually that wouldn’t be an issue in a roadside slasher cheapie, but this one is otherwise so filled with great textures and unusual ideas that it’s a little bit of a shame that the leads are so bland and disposable.


Even so, this one is surely a winner, an overlooked gem which has only recently been reclaiming its rightful status as a top-tier slasher from an enormously talented and ambitious genre great (Stephen King once called it one of his favorite horror movies, but then again he hated THE SHINING so who knows what his deal is). From the cool design of the killer’s doll mask/velvet Elvis chic to the bold surrealism of the plot to it’s enticingly menacing score (by Brian DePalma regular Pino Donaggio), TOURIST TRAP is much more than a sum of it’s influences, it’s a complete and satisfying little nightmare all of it’s own.

*The only person ever to have played in both the NBA and MLB, basically making him better than Michael Jordan. Besides, Chuck Connors starred in TOURIST TRAP. Did Michael Jordan ever star in TOURIST TRAP? Hell no! The most he can claim is SPACE JAM, which in my opinion is highly dubious Sci-Fi at best.


Man, Gilligan really let himself go after he finally got off the island

CHAINSAWNUKAH 2013 CHECKLIST!


  • LITERARY ADAPTATION: No
  • SEQUEL: Amazingly, no.
  • REMAKE: Even more amazingly, not yet.
  • HAMMER STUDIOS: No
  • SPAGHETTI NOCTURNE: No
  • MORE (PETER) CUSHING FOR THE PUSHING? None
  • SLUMMING A-LISTER: I'd like to call Connors a slumming A-lister, but he was in a made-for-TV women-behind-bars flick two years earlier. Still, he got third billing in SOYLENT GREEN a few years before that, beating out Joseph Cotton and Edward G Robinson. And that ain't bad.
  • BOOBIES: The female leads bathe in the nude, but I don't think it's explicit.
  • DECAPITATIONS OR DE-LIMBING: Yeah, head loss, but not as gory as you might imagine (see film for explanation)
  • ENTRAILS? No
  • CULTISTS: No
  • ZOMBIES: No
  • VAMPIRES: No
  • SLASHERS: Definitely, and a classic one at that. Although his method of murder typically doesn't involve edged weapons.
  • CURSES: No
  • (UNCANNY) VALLEY OF THE DOLLS? So, so many.
  • OBSCURITY LEVEL: Mid. Very obscure til King started talking it up, now considered a minor classic.
  • ALEX MADE IT THROUGH AWAKE: Yes
Most of the characters are female, and they discuss their predicament.

Thursday, February 2, 2012

Pentathlon

Pentathlon (1994)
Dir. Bruce Malmuth
Starring Dolph Lundgren, David Soul, Roger E. Mosely





I hesitate to call this 1994 time capsule featuring Dolph Lundgren as a Down-On-His-Luck-East-German-Pentathlon-Gold-Medalist-Defector/Fry-Cook an action movie, for one reason and one reason only. There’s virtually no action in it. There’s one chase scene at the very beginning of the film, a short sword fight halfway through, and a small explosion near the end, but that’s all you get. I’m betting the real Dolph Lundgren sees more action before breakfast than he does in the entire runtime of this thing. But that’s OK, because it’s kind of a nice reminder that one year before Michael Bay landed on the American movie scene like a albatross bowel movement from 1000 feet, there was a place for action movies that were actually pretty much dramas about macho men. I vividly remember being extremely confused by all the crying and talking the first time I watched FIRST BLOOD in my youth. Why are they telling us a story when they should be exploding?

    The answer is --gather round, boys and girls, ol’ grandpa Subtlety is gonna tell you a story -- that long, long ago, people were actually entertained by stories which are interesting. I understand that now a youtube video which doesn’t demonstrate the cruel depths of human suffering or cats doing funny things within the first nanosecond qualifies as a crime against humanity, worthy of writing an impassioned, strongly worded 100 characters. But back in the time of the dinosaurs, sometimes you could get your brain to focus for a period of many minutes in a row on Dolph Lundgren’s quest to get his life back together with the help of his tough but zany former Fry Cook Manager (Roger E. Mosely, who played Leadbelly in LEADBELLY).

    Basically, Dolph is an East German kid, coached to Olympic greatness by his brutal neo-Nazi coach Muller* (David Soul, who I guess was Hutch from “Starksy and Hutch.” Turns out Mosely was a guest star on that show, too, so happy birthday to you Starsky and Hutch reunion fans**). Fed up with the win-at-all-costs tactics of his team (his coach is furious at him for refusing to take steroids), Dolph defects to America right after his gold metal win, but gets himself shot in the leg in the process. Also his best friend gets shot and his ex-coach goes crazy and beats his father to death. But then a gorgeous American Olympian takes him in and presumably fucks him into next week (it's called loving freedom. Deal with it, fascists!). So, a real roller coaster of a day.

    Anyway, Dolph is flaunting his cartoonish teutonic charm all over the Free World (just like Neil Young would do), when suddenly he happens to glance at the TV and, holy shit, the Berlin wall is down. He could have waited two fucking months and been out anyway! That fucks him up pretty bad, and he goes on a downward spiral for a few off-screen years until we catch up with him as a fuckup irresponsible alchoholic loner doing a shitty job as a cook at a dive diner in LA (in other words, he bottomed out with a setup that pretty much describes the pinnacle of my life so far).

In order to emphasize this character transition, Dolph underwent a startling physical transformation. He lived the part off-stage, eating poorly, getting drunk, sitting on the couch, growing a beard, and gaining 60 pounds of pure gut. Just kidding, he’s still Dolph so even with a dirty apron on he looks like such a hilariously exaggerated ubermensch that even Nietzche would have to laugh. When his manager (Dolph’s, not Neitzche’s) discovers that his surly, unreliable employee is an ex-Olympic gold medalist, he resolved to pull his German ass out of its current funk and get him back to the top of his game. But little does he realize that Muller is now in America, ostensibly to do some kind of neo-Nazi chicanery, but possibly also to settle a personal score with his old pupil.

  The film would be pretty forgettable were it not for the surprisingly strong performances by Dolph and David Soul. There’s not a lot of action here, so the tension has to come from the characters themselves, and whaddayaknow, they actually deliver. Dolph isn’t going to win an Olympic gold (maybe a bronze) for his acting, but he has a certain disarming charm which makes us root for him. It’s not exactly a layered performance, but then again, it’s not exactly a layered character anyway -- he’s a big chiseled lunkhead who happens to have some weird drama happen to him and always tries to do the right thing. Opposite that is David Soul as the psychotic obsessed Nazi coach. Would you believe that it’s a great fucking performance? As twisted as he is, Muller considers himself a father to Dolph’s Eric, and feels both deeply betrayed and fiercely proud of him. Soul somehow manages to convey all that with his performance, making you sort of feel for Muller even as you are repulsed by him. Soul’s manic, conflicted intensity makes him a pretty compelling screen villain and ups the tension considerably. And putting him at odds with Dolph’s simplistic nice-guy hunk makes him seem all the more perverse. It’s a seriously good performance and dynamic which decisively elevates an OK film to a pretty good one.

Director Bruce Malmuth (who directed one of Seagal’s more entertaining joints, HARD TO KILL, and the classic Sylvester Stallone cross-dressing terrorist epic NIGHTHAWKS) doesn’t do anything too special here, but the whole thing is professionally assembled. It’s a silly film, but he shoots it like a real movie and, with the help of the actors, finds the right tone of somewhat cartoonish earnestness. It may be a sports movie with almost no sports and an action movie with almost no action, but it sort of has heart. And for this old luddite, that counts for a lot.

*That’s actually Mu:ller with an umlaut, just in case you had any doubts that he was evil. Not sure how to format that, so use your imagination, and maybe even throw in an extra umlaut or two just to really drive the point home. 

**Wouldn't it be great if they also got Starsky as Dolph's murdered father? I'd definitely buy a special edition where they went back and put him in there, kind of a setting-history-right thing. Inventor of the time machine, do this before you worry about stopping Hitler (besides, if you stopped Hitler Soul wouldn't be able to play a psychotic Neo-Nazi here, and then this movie wouldn't be as great. So let's just fix this casting Starsky thing and then leave causality to the pros).

Vern reviewed this one awhile back, and as usual puts all other reviews to shame -- Read it here